Oh, I'm in a great place this morning which is kind of unusual for me. It's Friday and I've got a wonderful weekend planned. Saturday, I get to watch my four favorite children (my three nephews and niece). Sunday, I'm going hiking with one of my best friends and husband. I'm excited and thankful to have time and energy to do this stuff.
I spend a ton of time worrying about what I don't have, what I want. Often times I feel like no one else in the world understand my frustrations especially with the infertility stuff and then I get reminded my life isn't so bad. First off, if we had kids we couldn't pick up and go at a moments notice. We couldn't go to the Rally to Restore Sanity at the end of the month (which I'm so happy to be attending, LOVE John Stewart), we couldn't plan random weekend trips, dinners out during the week, buy whatever we want whenever (well, ok used books and dvds, we can't buy WHATEVER we want). I guess what I'm saying is I'm learning to be happy with where we are and what we are doing. I'm trying to stop focusing on what we don't have. And reading other people's blogs who are in the same place really helps. And leaning on my husband helps the most.
I know I'm lucky. Some people don't even have the relationship I have with my husband. Some people are searching for jobs, struggling to hold on to their houses, struggling to hold on to their marriage. My worst problem is that I can't have the family I want right now. But there's always hope, there's always the future. I have the husband, the house, great parents, sister, and in laws, stable job, great health and a really cute cat. I have a ton to be thankful for, I shouldn't be so greedy. Our time will come, I know it will. The hubby and I are a family and hopefully one day we can expand. So, at least for today, I'm thankful. I hope the feeling lasts : )
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